Spark
by Bubblegum Shoes
Summary: Santana wants to believe that sparks flew between her and Brittany, but she's too smart to lie to herself like that. ;Santana/Brittany; *Onesided*


**I'm in a Santana mood, so I decided that I wanted to do something with her. Seeing as the Brittany/Artie relationship is now officially canon (which is awesome because Brittie's one of my fave ships), I thought that Santana would have a reaction. **

**But, as usual, the Glee writer's effed up, and so far Santana hasn't had much reaction to their relationship. Being a die hard Brittana shipper, this angers me to no end. Even if we're to think Santana and Brittany's relationship was just sex (which is bullshit since it was total love), Santana would still have a reaction towards Brittany ignoring her (possibly, I don't remember off the top of my head, don't have the episodes downloaded yet for further rewatching to get a better understanding) for Artie. Because, Brittany hasn't hung out as much with Santana when she started going out with Artie. **

**I'll stop rambling, but I'm just saying, I wished they had touched upon it just a little more, since they barely scraped the surface. So anyways, I thought I'd write Santana's reaction to their relationship in drabble form. Who doesn't love a good drabble? **

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I can't understand why she loves _him. _

For one, he's a cripple. Why does she want to go out with a fucking cripple? She's beautiful and could have any hot guy in the school, and she picks the cripple? Furthermore, she picks him over me? I know I always told her that all this was just sex. Just a couple fucks here and there, rub each other out when nobody else is around to rub with. And in the beginning, it was just sex. But I started getting attached to her as more than a friend. I always told myself it was just my sex drive talking or the adrenaline rush, but I wasn't stupid enough to lie to myself like that.

When Brittany and I were friends and fuck buddies, I always wanted more. I wanted to kiss her in public. I wanted to talk to my friends about my hot girlfriend and talk to the guys about how they would never have her, then smile evilly at their saddened expressions. I wanted a real, legitimate relationship. She was the only one in the whole goddamn town who was actually worth my time. Puck was a great lay, but treated me like shit most of the time. The rest of the guys were either taken or too annoying for me to date.

It took a while for me to realize the one person I wanted to be with was a girl, but even when I did discover it, I never took action on it. I just stood like a dumbass, watching her, wishing I could kiss her in the lunchroom. In the halls. In the classroom. Anywhere, just so I could stop hiding it all and get it all out in the open. But I was scared. It surprised me that I was capable of fear. I wasn't supposed to get scared, people feared _me_, not the other way around. I could destroy their social reputation, or if they pissed me off enough I could beat them up with my cat fighting skills. But nonetheless, I feared the ridicule, the aftermath of what would happen if I made Brittany my real girlfriend and in public. I knew my rep would be destroyed. Sylvester would probably think of it as a distraction to have a bisexual on her precious Cheerios, so I'd be kicked off in a heartbeat. Glee club wouldn't mind, but then again, _they _weren't important. I didn't give a fuck whether they accepted me or not. They wouldn't help, especially with all that drama shit going on all the time. The rest of the school would either ignore me or give me a slushy facial everyday. I saw how kids of different sexualities were treated. Kurt got tortured and bullied every day. I was not about to let that happen to me just because I had a crush on my best friend.

I never thought that my actions come back to bite me in the ass.

Artie rolled in and it was announced he and Brittany were going to do a duet. At the time it didn't even register in my mind that anything big would come out of their duet. But, from a couple of different sources, I found out Artie lost his virginity to Brittany. This really shocked me. Why the fuck would she sleep with him? Just to get back at me? Looking back I realize I was an insensitive bitch that night when we were making out (as always). I never even thought it'd piss her off so much she'd just dump me.

Then again, you can't dump someone you didn't go out with.

Then, a miracle happened (mostly thanks to me talking some sense into Artie) when Artie and Brittany got into a fight. I thought now that they were broken up, I could finally have her for myself again. I then went on a double date, me going with Puck and Brittany with Artie. It wasn't like there were any huge sparks between them. Sure, Brittany was trying to feel up Artie's leg, which sort of angered me. Luckily, I hid my anger by acting like I was in love with Puck. Good thing it worked, if I showed my real anger, Artie probably would lose his arms just as he did his legs.

So, with no significant sparks between them, I thought I was fine. I was so wrong.

It all happened so fast. They just became a couple. They were together now, and I couldn't believe I didn't see it coming. Artie stole her from me, little wheelchair confined asshole. He kissed her, he whispered things in her ear that made her giggle, he gave her presents. Everything _I _should've done. But I didn't. I let the blonde slip out of my grasp. I had this stupid delusion that maybe I could salvage the little to nothing spark me and Brittany had. It was at Sectionals when I realized that plan was as dumb as Berry's suggestions for glee club. I saw Brittany kneeling, talking how she lost his lucky comb. Then he told her it wasn't magic, he just said it was lucky so she would do well without getting nervous. Then, he said something so disgustingly sweet to her I wanted to punch him right there on the spot.

"Brittany, you don't need a comb to be magical. You're magical all on your own."

Something along those lines.

And when I heard that, I knew they'd be together for a while, if not throughout high school. They shared a bond, they had the spark Brittany and I never had. The spark we should've had. The spark I wanted.

Ever since then I've spent my days blocking out the rest of the world and constantly blinking back the tears that would surely fall if I chose to let them. But I didn't, nobody could see me as someone weak. I still had _some _reputation in that damned school, and I was going to keep it that way.

But when I go home, I sit in my bed and finally let the tears fall. I don't sob dramatically or tangle myself in my sheets like those idiots do in the movies. But I cry silently, to myself, knowing that there was no one to hear me or care for my cries. Brittany was always there if I felt down or sad. She could always cheer me up. But not she had someone else to cheer up.

So I sit in my bed, crying softly, wiping my tears away even when they keep falling. And as I sit, I can only pray on wishing stars that Brittany will come back to me, and then maybe I can finally try to get that tiny little spark rekindled.

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**Santana angst! Huzzah!**

**This was fun to write. Very, very fun. In a Brittana mood, but I've realized I've done too much fluff for them. Time for some super sad angst :D Why am I smiling about this? Damn, I'm a sadistic bastard XP **

**So, please review. Tell me what you liked, what you didn't, and just drop a review. It'd be super nice if you did. So…please? -puppy dog eyes- **


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